How to Give Yourself Permission and Be Authentic With Yourself

You were put on this planet for a reason.

I spent so many years of my life trying to be someone else. When I started blogging in 2010 it was a total lone dessert and when I launched my channel in 2012 (poor lighting and all), I was totally authentically myself at that moment. When I started to get more into blogging and Instagram came to be I went sideways. Suddenly, I felt like who I was wasn’t good enough and I created this expectation and ideal that wasn’t my ideal to live up to. I would try and try and try to be this “fitness model,” when really my recovery came from letting go of that expectation on myself.

How to be Authentic and Give Yourself Permission

This past year I shed some layers and finally feel like I am myself living my passion, my dream and sharing my story with those who need to hear it.

When I started blogging in 2010 it was a total lone dessert and when I launched my channel in 2012 (poor lighting and all), I was totally authentically myself at that moment. When I started to get more into blogging and Instagram came to be I went sideways. Suddenly, I felt like who I was wasn’t good enough and I created this expectation and ideal that wasn’t my ideal to live up to. This past year I shed some layers and finally feel like I am myself living my passion, my dream and sharing my story with those who need to hear it.

How to Be Authentic

It wasn’t until I came to realize that I wasn’t being authentic and that I was creating this expectation and pressure on myself that I decided to let go. It took some time, a fire that almost lit my office on fire and a lot of meditation but I finally saw the light, I am here for a purpose and I let go of all expectations on myself.

Since this year was such a defining year for me, I wanted to share with you how I did just that. I recorded a video, a podcast and even wrote a post here because I found these tips so important during my transformation.

My Journey to Authenticity:

3 Tips to Be More Authentic With Yourself:

  • Break Up With Expectations:  Give yourself permission to trust your gut. You know how you do things because you feel like other people want you to but you really don’t want to. Or maybe you might be like me, I used to feel like I had to be the next fitness superstar to make an impact and inspire people to make movement apart of their lifestyles when in reality I needed to let that all go and just focus on my message not how gorgeous my Instagram feed is.
    • Action: Think about things in your life that don’t make you happy and figure out why you’re doing them. Why am I waking up at 6 in the morning to meditate when I absolutely hate it? Give yourself permission to meditate at night. That’s okay too.
  • Change Your I Have To’s to I Want To’s:  Instead of saying I have to work out, or I have to drop this weight, I have to drink this nasty apple cider vinegar drink and I hate it it’s gross. Switch it, shift it to say I want to. When you change your mindset, switching your intentions to I want to’s, is huge. There’s been a lot of things that I have to change my framework on. Like doing my accounting every month. I do not like doing it. But I change it to I want to do my accounting so I can see how I can expand my business, to see where I need to invest my learning or my skillset so once I shifted that, it became so much easier for me to go into my accounting every single month, and do the work that I need to do. Instead of changing the things that you have to do, change them to I want to do, to see the positive and the beauty in it, and it gives you the permission to accept. You may not want to accept but you have to accept because you got to do it. Changing it to I want to is a big key phrase that you can use for anything that you don’t want to do but you have to do.
    • Action: Think of 3 things you do not want to do but know you have to and start the day by saying you want to do them for the next 30 days.

How to Be Authentic As a Blogger

  • Give Yourself Permission to Love Yourself: For me, I am an avid over-exerciser, I love to exercise. It’s my therapy., it’s not a disorder, I love it. I love to move, but lately, I’ve been giving myself permission to be more gentle on myself. I had to switch that over because I have been doing so much more in my day to day from my podcast and my business, and my life and trying to build a social life out here in Las Vegas. Sometimes I don’t get to my workouts and instead of beating myself up about it, I’ve been saying to myself, I give you permission to skip your workout today. Once I switch that, the guilt is no longer there. I feel it’s so easy to guilt yourself. You deserve to spend an extra 5 minutes soaking in a rose petal filled bath, you honor yourself by taking yourself out for a massage and you do this by giving yourself permission and letting go of the guilt surrounded by these acts.
    • Action: Take a moment to think of one act of self-love you can do today and go do it. Let go of any expectations and guilt and spend 5 minutes doing whatever it is you want.

Just living your life by giving yourself permission, trusting your intuition and just feeling good about your day to day will create that lifestyle that you really desire and that you really want. Learn to be cool being you and be authentic with yourself and others. Doing things you love and that create pleasure in your life create more and more pleasure and will allow you to burst at the seams in confidence and authenticity. 

  • Love this Courtney! Changing your mindset has helped me heaps and I love that changing ‘I have to’ to ‘I want to’. 🙂

    • YES Millie, that is KEY! You have to focus on wanting to do more things that better serve you!

  • Love this! It’s all about your mindset 🙂

  • Amazing post! Sometimes I feel that I am the hardest to myself. After reading this I thing I have a lot to think about (and remind myself to be gentle and give permission to love myself).

    • YES Maja, 100%! Take some time to journal how you really feel GET deep, GO DEEP and let yourself feel. Once you see how you feel you can start work on self love and loving yourself more and more everyday. Remember to be GRATEFUl for the body you are in!

  • Love this post so much! It was beautifully written. So important to learn how to love yourself. 🙂

    Linda
    http://lindatenchitran.com/2017/10/09/pink-off-shoulder-top/

    • YES thank you for that Linda, it is SO important and something we all need to do more of!

  • Delayna Denaye

    I love to follow your posts! They are all so great!
    Delayna
    http://www.delaynadenaye.com

  • Briana Trevino

    I love self-care posts like this! Definitely my favorite!

    Briana
    https://beyoutifulbrunette.com/

  • Christie Moeller

    LOVE these tips. In this era of Social media over saturation its more important than ever to remain authentic!

    xoxo Christie
    http://www.icanstyleu.com/blog/

    • YES SO TRUE! Something I personally LOVE about you is that you are YOU online, in person everywhere and I just LOVE that! Its so refreshing <3

  • Azanique

    I love this post! Taking time for self-care is so important

    -xo, Azanique | http://www.lotsofsass.com

  • Rizelle McLean

    thanks for sharing love this post babe! http://www.tourinstylebyrizelle.com/blazer-perfect-cool-girl/

  • What a great post! I love the idea of being more gentle with yourself. Let go of expectations and then you can live authentically. <3

    xo, Ilse
    http://www.livelearnluxeit.com

  • Kristin Kruse

    Girl, yes!! I’ve always admired your honesty & authenticity! I love you saying turn your ‘haves’ into ‘wants’ –especially as women I feel like we need to practice this daily! <3

    xox,
    Kristin

    • Thank you Kristin! I try my best to SHOW up as myself everyday even when I have a huge zit or I just don’t feel like it because I feel that the world needs MORE of the REALNESS! You as well show up and I LOVE that about you!

  • Nicole Fuentes

    Great post! Your tips are always so inspiring. Happy Friday!
    http://www.nicolesometimes.com

  • gogirlph.com

    I used to be so insecure as well, and that has made me more driven than the average Jane. I have learned to temper those tendencies, but they still show their horns sometimes. Thanks for this very well-thought out post!

    • Thank you! That is a great point you always have to be mindful of your emotions too! xo C